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Say “Yes” To Yourself!
By Ria | January 22, 2009
I was reading an article written by a guy named Dean Rieck, who goes writes for copyblogger.com, and it was about how you get to yes with customers. It was based on basic psychology about how we think and do what we do. It occurred to me that maybe that same rationale applied in more than just the sales arena. After all, it is based on our psychology. So here we go! Let’s see how using his top 6 ways to get to yes, can work to improve our own lives!
1. Reciprocation. We have an overwhelming need to repay a debt. So, when someone gives you something for free, you feel like you need to do something for that person.
Application to You: Make a point of doing something for yourself every time you do something for someone else. You should reward you to balance out the energy you give away and that you keep or give to yourself. So, if you give someone else a compliment, give yourself one too! If you help someone with a project, help yourself to some relaxation time. Now you are really building up that love bank! And, when you do something for yourself, the more you are able to give to others.
2. Commitment and Consistency. According to Rieck’s article, “we are driven to remain consistent in our attitudes, words, and actions.” So, when we make a true commitment to something, we tend to stick with it. In sales, Rieck suggests starting with a small commitment and then growing it.
Application to You: Make a list of what you would like to change in your life. Then, pick out the easiest one to implement. Make a commitment to make that change. Write it on a poster board or sticky notes and post them where you can see them — in your bathroom, on your bedroom ceiling, on your car dashboard, on your computer. Map out a plan for how you can achieve that goal and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to achieve it. Determine what support you need to meet your goal and put it in place. After you meet this challenge, go to your list and pick another one!
3. Social Proof. Rieck states that we imitate others and care what they think, especially when we aren’t sure about something. That’s why testimonies are so effective.
Application to You: Find out how other people have done what you want to do for yourself and try their way. For instance, if you want to change your diet, choose a plan that you know other people have used and has worked for them. I know I’m asked all the time about how I lost weight, the books that made a difference in my life, or what products I use for my hair or skin. That’s why I have a “My Favorites” section on my web site. The same applies to the changes you want to make for yourself. Even if the first way doesn’t work for you, there are many other methods and testimonies out there that you can try. You already made the commitment (see #2), so why not take the time to find out what works for you.
4. Liking. According to Rieck’s article, we readily respond to people we like. What does that mean for saying “yes” to yourself? It means you need to take a quick internal check and ask yourself if you really like who you are. If you don’t, it will be much more difficult to do something for yourself. Self-loathing is a tough hurdle — but NOT insurmountable. If you find yourself in this category, the first step is to find a way to like who you are. Maybe you are like Julia Roberts in the “Runaway Bride” and don’t know who you are. When you like yourself, it will be much easier to do what you need for yourself.
Application to You: Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Are your first thoughts about what you don’t like about yourself or are you smiling at your reflection? If your answer wasn’t smiling, spend some time figuring out what you don’t like about yourself. Is it your weight? Then make a commitment to change your diet and exercise. Engage the support of a friend or family member to help you. Is it your outer appearance? Go shopping to change your image, get a new haircut, and get a manicure. Is it your inner thoughts? Seek someone to talk with confidentially who can help you retrain the way you think about yourself or deal with whatever is upseting you and keeping you from having a happy life. Maybe all it takes is saying “I love you” every time you look in the mirror. It may feel strange at first, but eventually you will start to believe it and it will get easier.
5. Authority. As human beings, we are trained to believe that someone who has the appearance of authority is an expert and therefore should be listened to. As Rieck puts it, we look to them “to give us the answers and show us the way.”
Application to You: In looking to say “yes” to yourself, authority shows up in two ways: (1) the authority or permission you give yourself; and (2) the expert you may seek to help you with your life challenges. The first thing is to give yourself permission to have a happy life. Sometimes that conscious discussion with yourself can be liberating. Also, recognize where your strengths are, i.e., where you are the expert in a certain field or skill. Sometimes that means talking to yourself or giving yourself the same advice you have or would give to someone else. You are your own authority on have a good life! For life challenges that you struggle with, you may need to seek an expert who can help you get back on the path. (See #3 and #4 above).
6. Scarcity. The fear of loss is a great motivator! According to Rieck, it is an instinctive tendency to avoid losing something or the chance to possess something desirable. He suggests creating time limits and limited availability.
Application to You: Get on a schedule for doing what you need to do for yourself! Time is the most precious and limited resource we have and it cannot be changed. Once a minute is gone, it is gone forever. What are you going to do with the time you have? If you have a plan for how you are going to change your life, scheduling time for yourself will be essential if you are going to meet those goals. Want a good example? Think about how a woman prepares for her wedding day. The date is set and there is no changing it. She knows that there is only a certain amount of time to make sure she looks exactly how she wants to look for the big day. She sets a schedule and plans for how she will make her goal of looking the most beautiful on that day. Scheduling time for yourself also helps you mentally make the change because you can take it day-by-day and for small periods of time each day, until one day, you will find that you have reached your goal!
Happy New Year! Happy New You!
Ria
–Be loving, happy, yourself, free.
(If you would like to see the article that is the basis for this blog posting, please visit http://www.copyblogger.com/get-to-yes/)
Topics: journeys to self-love | 1 Comment »
February 1st, 2009 at 12:50 am
That is awesome Ria! Your ability to catch something and apply it to everyday life is inspiring!Thanks for sharing your knowledge insight with the world.
Nicole